Giuliani Excluded From Florida Debate

 

Republican presidential candidate Fred 'Lazy Boy' Thompson woke up Friday afternoon to to imagine that his poll numbers were surging after an endorsement from South Carolina Comptroller General Richard Eckstrom.

Demonstrating the unstudied style which has enabled him to surpass top candidates such as Ron Paul and Rudy Giuliani, the Thompson campaign immediately cancelled dinner plans at the Orangeburg Cracker Barrel (where seniors eat for half price before 5 PM) in favor of a whirlwind four city, five stop blitzkrieg through central South Carolina along with celebrity supporter Larry the Cable Guy.

"We got chicken in the pick-up," said Mr. Cable Guy. "We got plenty of Dr Pepper and PBRs. We're gonna Git-R-Done if it takes all afternoon."

"All afternoon, and part of tomorrow morning as well," Fred added with a wink.