White House Press Secretary Extraordinaire Tony Snow, speaking to conservative radio host Hugh Hewitt, revealed that although he loves his job and believes in the Bush Agenda with all his heart, his seventeen months of government service has left him financially devastated.

"Iíve already made it clear Iím not going to be able to go the distance, but thatís primarily for financial reasons," said the sniveling Snow. "Iíve told people when my money runs out, then Iíve got to go."

Hewitt sympathized, telling Snow that he didn't know of a "single conservative pundit alive who could make do on the pittance of a paycheck that you're forced to live on. Why can't the government pay people what they're worth? It's infuriating!"

"And no overtime," wailed Snow. "God, they want you to work all the damn time, it's unconscionable. I feel like I'm on Maggie's farm."

"Maggie's farm? That's a rather obtuse reference, Tony, if I do say so myself."

'Oh, you know what I mean, Hugh, like the Bob Dylan song - 'He hands you a nickel, He hands you a dime, He asks you with a grin if you're havin' a good time, Then he fines you every time you slam the door. I ain't gonna work on Maggie's farm no more'. You know that one."

"No, Tony, I'm sorry, that doesn't ring a bell. I don't know how you can listen to that Dylan crap anyhow."

"Forget about it, Hugh, just forget it."

"Well... so... do you think that you'll go back to FOX?"

"I don't know, Hugh. Do you think that they would even want someone like me back, someone who has sold out every little bit of credibility and integrity that they ever had, just for the opportunity to toady up with a corrupt administration which has trashed everything America stands for in the eyes of the world?"


"Well, yeah, it'll probably be FOX. As long as they pay me more than that idiot John Gibson... Listen, Hugh, you think you could loan me cab fare?"


©2007, Mark Hoback